please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
