She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the jesus of drinking
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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