problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
