***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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