The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
