Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
