Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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