HIV tests are more positive than that guy
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I FOUND THE LEGS
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
