im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
