We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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