why didn't you poke me back
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Randomize
