ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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