Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
