Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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