just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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