after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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