i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
