you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
