Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
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Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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