omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
We left the knife in your bed.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
