I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
