So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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