Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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