Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
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