I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
