marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I have tasted many bathrooms
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
