She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
