he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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