My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
