i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
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All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
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Someone stole a lamp last night.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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