i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
