We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
