Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
