im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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