Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
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