either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
