so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
operation harelip BJ is a go
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
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