Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
