fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
