you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
