I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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