I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
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Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
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Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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