So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Randomize
