wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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