My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
In the future we'll all be gay
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
