so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize