it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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