he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
false alarm, still single
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
