If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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