why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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