i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
