Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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