He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
