small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
