Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
