Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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