i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
