well you can't waste a boner
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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