oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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