Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(416): View more from Ontario

I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.

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(706): View more from Georgia

New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.

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(507): View more from Minnesota

Redeem this text for a blowjob

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(815): View more from Illinois

ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this

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(810): View more from Michigan

Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4

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(850): View more from Florida

I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.

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(317): View more from Indiana

This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang

(317): View more from Indiana

Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?

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