It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
