If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
