did you get engaged???
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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