And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
