Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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