After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
