woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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