I seem to have left my pride at pride
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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